i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck.

You're always a bittersweet memory. Never clear, never quite the memory you wanna erase, but not the one you want to bring back either. You're elusive, you don't fit into words. Just like you never fit into my life. You were never just one thing, I guess that's the reason I adore you while I never really understood you. Memory of you is strong but your voice and your face are fading away. You're always full of contradictions. Your everything is a constant battle between black and white, but you never ever turn into grey. You're magnificent to look at. A masterpiece, pleasing to the eyes of the soul. Across times people get addicted to you. And that's when you show your true colors. You take away the drug, you so voluntarily offered, and you leave the heart aching for just one more taste. You kill those who get close enough. But even in the worst case, where no free will or common sense is left to save the person in need, you take their lives away so elegantly. You make them beg for this death, you make them blind and indifferent to everything that isn't you. Even their own surviving. Because what could possibly fill the void you left inside of them? Even death seems more appealing, than living a life without you.